What started out as a conversation about parties and the way police handle them turned into an eye opener about what is happening at an alarming number of these "parties.

You know your teenager is at a party, but do you know what is going on at the party?

I hate to be the bearer of bad new, but these "parties" are not what we parents think they are. The truth is, as a teenager I went to my share of parties and I am not suggesting that they were 100 percent respectable. Kids were making-out and it was not unusual to have the stereo-typical "bad boys" show up with some liquor they got their hands on. They even may have secretly passed it around.

However, today's "parties" are a lot different. It has taken me several days and several subsequent conversations to digest what I learned over an hour lunch with six adults, who -- with the exception of one -- have teenagers of varying ages. I was shocked to learn that many of today's "parties" are simply venues for underage high school students to use alcohol and drugs. They are organized to provide a venue almost solely for this purpose.

Kids know before hand that there will be a charge at the door for the party. The price is usually $5 or $10 depending on what the youngster wants to indulge. The choices range from beer and hard liquor to drugs.

Interestingly, while it seems obvious that the war on drugs is being lost, the effort to educate kids on the importance of designated drivers and the "Friends Don't Let Friends Drive" campaign has been successful.

I am told that the students are responsible about not driving under the influence and that prior to arriving at the party they choose a designated driver. I have also been informed that at many of the "parties" there is a hired bouncer or security guard to keep those who are not invited from participating.

I want to make it clear that these parties are not confined to the Village of Pinecrest or to the schools within our Village. Just a few weeks ago, a friend told me that her daughter (a high school senior at a private school not in Pinecrest) had arrived home unexpectedly early from a party. When the mother asked why, the daughter explained that the police had broken up the party and arrested the only adult present, the housekeeper, because they found drugs and alcohol.

At the time, I thought that this was an isolated event. This is a community-wide problem.

As might be expected, a number of these "parties" are taking place while parents are out of town. In contrast, in some instances the parents are fully aware of what is taking place and take the position that teens will be teens, and it is better that they are on hand to supervise the illicit behavior rather, than have their child experiment unsupervised. However, it is my understanding that on many occasions the parents are home, but unaware of what is transpiring.

The point of this column is is that I am a believer in the philosophy that it takes a village to raise a child. I think it is important to share with other parents information about what's going on at these "parties."

I am not so out of touch that I think teenagers are not going to experiment with drugs and alcohol in a clandestine way when the opportunity arises. However, I do have a major concern when it becomes an organized weekend activity. Ask your teenager if he or she is familiar with these kinds of "parties." The answer may surprise you.

I can be reached at 305-666-7969 or via fax, 305-666-8487.